Saving Summer Cel

By Tracy K. Lorenz

(For those of you not from around here Muskegon’s Summer Celebration is an eleven day event that brings in a different “big name” band every night. Most people buy a pass for the whole shebang and they get ten to fifteen thousand people a night. I got my start writing reviews for Summer Celebration and have gone to hundreds of concerts over the years getting to meet some pretty big names; it was traditionally the high point of my year. But for reasons no one has pinpointed attendance has been dropping and the event is losing money like a sieve. I remember standing back stage a few years back and looking out at the throng of people and thinking “How will Muskegon screw this up…”)

From everything I’ve heard Summer Celebration has one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel. I went to only one show this year, some Eagles tribute band on the 4th of July, and the crowd was maybe a quarter of what it would normally be. Here’s a tip: If you’re a tribute band you should at least try to sound like the original band. They might as well of had Dutch Henry up there singing Eagles songs.

So people are trying to blame the low attendance for all the shows on bad band selection but I disagree, I’ll admit that this years bands were nothing to camp out for but there have been questionable bands in the past and the place filled up. Let’s face it, usually half the bands are “Tribute Bands” in one way or another; we’ve had the Cars without Rick Ocasek, Journey without Steve Perry, and you can’t get much more tribute-y than Lynyrd Skynryrd since they’re, well, dead.

I’ve heard people blame the economy and gas prices but I notice no shortage of people pouring into Grand Haven on a nightly basis and other events like Irish Fest, Unity Fest, and Bike Time seem to be doing okay, the problem isn’t the bands, Obama’s stellar recovery plan, or gas prices; the problem is the event itself. I look at it like a guy who’s a good golfer and decides to tweak his swing; he closes his stance a little, flattens his swing plane, moves the ball forward, and next thing you know his swing is so messed up he can’t remember what he used to do right.

I get a constant barrage of emails saying I complain too much without offering solutions, well, here are my suggestions on how to save Summer Celebration…

1) Stop trying to please everybody, get rid of the ethnic show. I know the ethnic show is compulsory but the African American community hasn’t stepped up to support it, ever. It’s a money loser. Sorry, it’s gone.

2) Same for the occasional Christian group. Adios.

3) Put an entrance gate on the west end of the venue. If you park on the west side you have to walk about a mile to get to the east side, meanwhile the line is getting longer and longer as you walk, you’re like a salmon going upstream

4) Get rid of the carnival. Please. Again, if you’re walking from the east you have to walk through that hell-hole of broken dreams and unruly youth. The carnival is a repellent and can’t possible make enough money to justify its existence. If you have to have a carnival stick it in the Wal-Mart parking lot where it belongs.

5) Muskegon: CLEAN UP! When out of towners come here and see a parade of overweight tattooed moms, dads in filthy NASCAR shirts, teenage girls using language that would make a crab fisherman blush, and the whole bunch wearing flip-flops and exposing nails like Ming the Merciless it’s a bit off-putting. It’s all about “Birds of a Feather” and if you want other birds to come here and spend their money then you better wash up. The old “We’re Muskegon, that’s how we are, deal with it” attitude has done nothing but destroy a once mighty city. Drop it. If you can’t afford Prell get some Suave.

6) Stop with all the specialized seating. Back stage (which isn’t really back stage), Premier Seating (no different than “back stage” only on the other side, Fan Standing, General admission, Club Celebrity, Middle reserved, General Admission chairs only, General Admission chairs and blankets, the bridge and the Sky Deck. Do we really need TEN options to help alienate people and make it difficult to walk around? The weird thing is NONE of the “special seating” is as good as the regular general admission seating and that includes the ACTUAL back stage. Quit with all the fancy stuff and dance with what brought ya.

Summer Celebration has never been about the bands, it’s been about the event. It’s a gorgeous venue, it’s a time tested formula, there’s no way the place should be ¼ full on the 4th of July. Just keep bringing in bands who’ve played ONE song we’ve heard even if they’ve been here three or four times, no one really cares. I’ve seen REO and Styxx three or four times, that doesn’t mean I won’t…re-view them again.